Dan the man

My true self! I would say most of my life I had been lost, completely lost. As a child I did whatever my parents wanted me to do and I think they couldn’t differentiate between protecting your children and controlling them. I didn’t get the chance to fail at something until I was well into my adult life, but if our passion didn’t align with my parents they would crush it telling me I was crazy, there was no money in it, you’ll never succeed. So I did what they wanted me to do, I worked for my dad for over 16 years, and lived in one of his many apartment buildings for nearly nothing, I just had to take care of the regular maintenance, cutting the grass taking out the trash, keeping it clean. He was able to keep a handle on my life that way. I don’t think any of their behavior was intentional they were just over protective even though we lived in the lily white suburbs filled with all white middle class families. When I did move out they gave me an apartment to live in. I think from the outside it appeared to be an awesome life, but inside it sucked big time. I spent most days silently going through the motions all the while I was screaming inside crawling out of my skin, wondering how I can escape this nightmare of a life. Turned out to be pretty simple, just become a drunken drug addict who threw away his wife and kids and spent the next couple of years in and out of jail. After all that my parents were more than happy to let me leave, they gave me parting gifts, a bunch of money and said goodbye. I ended up in Florida and was free, finally free. It was so liberating I wept for days for all the years I stayed there and for all the years ahead of me.