Throughout my life many people have called me a “nice guy” and to them I guess I was. It’s a strange statement for me because I don’t think of myself as a nice guy, l’m just a guy who’s allowed people to take advantage of me and my kindness maybe, or maybe I am naive. Not anymore, I would say I’ve been burned many times, but the reality is I have blamed others for not living up to my expectations, so a not so long time ago when I was working really hard on myself I found that having expectations of others is a recipe for failure people are going to do what they want how they’re wired to act and behave it’s their character not mine if I don’t like or want it I can walk away it is that simple.

I’ve had great friendships spanning well over twenty years he came to the bike shop one day with his broken sportster and we had been friends ever since then about a year ago he was done with it, he did the usual avoiding me always busy, but I’ve been down this road so many times the street is named after me, so I simply said goodbye and haven’t spoken to him in eleven years. I had another friendship a husband and wife I worked with the husband and thru that relationship I met his wife and after a couple of years they invited me to holiday parties and I was always available to the husband to do the heavy lifting during his renovation projects. They were nice people both separate and together, but as I became more involved in their lives I noticed the not so nice side of them and when I met my wife and brought her to meet them it got a whole lot worse. My wife is from Thailand I met her where I lived in Venice Florida we got close, before she had to go back to Thailand we stopped at their house and I told them I was going to marry her if and when she comes back and they were nice until we left and I received a very long text from the wife telling how they are in shock over this and she’s only marrying me for a green card or money or both and the he called to tell me if I do marry her to get a prenup that he would be happy to have his lawyer provide. All that changed our relationship for the worse it was obviously a problem for them and they didn’t trust my intuition, they were not invited to our wedding and they even tried to maintain so normalcy by inviting us for Christmas dinner, but it was apparent to me they wouldn’t accept her so I raised the anchor so to speak and let us drift apart, she sees what we do on FB and has tried to become part of our life, but she and him aren’t welcome to come, he and I still meet for lunch once in a while and that’s enough for me. I am sure they’re still nice people, but for me it’s all but finished. I found that no one can be nice all the time I cannot be nice all the time I don’t believe it’s about that it’s more about being nice to yourself.