Dan the man

That’s an interesting challenge, I am in no way a wordsmith, but am very familiar with the English language. It is jam packed with many, many words and they all do what they’re supposed to do, tell a story, state a statement, describe an event, etc, etc, etc, I do not “hurt” but words they’re a tool of a trade and can hurt like hitting your finger with a hammer or if they’re spat at you in anger and you cannot control your emotions, they comfort, encourage, inspire us. My absolute favorite word is motherfucker, it’s versatile in so many ways and does a great job whatever the intention is. The worst word for me is nigger, it had its place many, many years ago, but it lost its place in the world. Thank GOD. Retard was another word that I feel was used by the ignorant in an attempt to hurt those that were different. A lot of new words have been added to our vocabulary that are lacking in so many ways, but like Shakespeare would say “ words will cometh and words will goeth it’s up to us to use them properly-eth. ???

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m older now, but there are fewer things that excite me and more things that bore me. For most of my life the absolute most boring activity is sitting at a bar. How people find enjoyment in that baffles me, I tried a couple of times, in my early twenties it was new and exciting mostly because it was a rite of passage into adulthood, but for me it wasn’t all it was hyped up to be. It was the eighties there was a group of us, we were into cars, vans and motorcycles and on Friday nights we would meet up at the parking lot across the street from the local popular bar. Sometimes we would go in have a drink or two and go back to hanging out across the street, that went on until we all grew out of it and proceeded on to adulthood. I tried it again in my late thirties, a little different I was going through a divorce and it was a strip club and it was the women that attracted me, along with the booze and drugs it was a perfect storm in destroying my life. These days very little bore me, of course I’m not hanging out in bars I’m hanging out at the beach, in the water, on a boat living life.

This is a topic I have struggled with most of my life. Growing up I never learned the value of myself, I had many friends most were vastly different than each other probably because I was trying to figure out where I would be the happiest. Now, I can see that true happiness comes from within, but then I would stay in awful friendships/relationships because the fear of being hurt or hurting someone was paralyzing. At 64 years old I know now what I should have known then and it was only in the last 20 or so years that I realized I was the only one responsible for my well being and happiness. And just like that the most amazing people came into my life, no more broken women I felt the need to fix, but would inevitably nearly break me, or the guys who just wanted to hang around smoke dope and drink beer and go nowhere in life. I now live a life I have dreamed of with the very best people in it, they inspire me to be better as I do them.

Growing up in New England in a 4 child household, I was number 3, I grew up with all hand me downs so there were Oxfords, penny loafers, and converse sneakers, winter boots that were generic and slippers. As I grew up and was working and able to buy my own clothes and shoes, I opted for Timberlines, Chippewa motorcycle boots and sneakers that were the closest to running shoes I could find. My mom still got me slippers. My Timberlines supported me throughout my days at work, being in a construction business it just made sense, they’re durable and comfortable. The motorcycle boots were only worn while riding and the occasional wedding or funeral. I have the best memories with those boots, I made custom spurs for them kept them like new and had them for over 15 years. The sneakers took me from 205 lbs to 165 lbs. There have been many sneakers between then and now and it’s been great watching the evolution of sneakers becoming running shoes. The Timberlines have been retired and replaced with generic flip flops and the motorcycle boots have been passed down to my eldest son. I moved from CT. to FL. 25 years ago and settled into the beach life, I work part time and enjoy life full time, most days I’m barefoot, I were sneakers to work and when I have to go anywhere else I’m wearing my flip flops, which I bought in Thailand and are the most durable ones I’ve ever had, I also got a pair of dress shoes over there that I wear maybe twice a year usually during the holidays. My life is lived in shorts, tee shirts and flip flops and I am savoring every minute of every day.

The life of Dan. Not an extraordinary life, but definitely a page turner. The beginning, my childhood is a dream come true as far as a childhood goes filled with adventure and exploration of the neighborhood we lived in. Those pesky teen years are a challenge for all those involved with a roller coaster of emotions that warranted a steel grip to survive. Young adult period put me in the late seventies early eighties when sex drugs and rock and roll were the forefront of everyone within a hundred mile radius. Adulthood brought a feeble attempt of being a grown man with devastating consequences that still haunts me today, but today I am a better man filled with wisdom and hands on experiences, some will never be shared all will never be forgotten, unless of course I get dementia or Alzheimer’s in which case I may very well get a full nights sleep, find peace, or finally accept to person looking at me in the mirror.

My dream home will be in the mountains of North Carolina on about 20 acres. It will be far enough away to be private, but close enough to town to have access to amenities like plumbing electricity and shopping. It’s not large around 2000 square feet with twice as much outdoor living space. It will be built in a hacienda style with tall ceilings 3 bedrooms 3 bathrooms very earthy in materials and colors a truly warm and comforting home. It’s just my wife and I, but we do entertain so it has to have easy access with generous views of the mountains.

Yes!!! A break from life would be amazing. At 64 years old I am busier now more than any other time in my life, and I worked 2 jobs for most of my life with the expectation that now at this point I would be able to work less and relax more. It is quite the opposite, and I am still looking for hobbies other that hitting the gym, doing yoga/meditation staying up to date with health and nutrition watching sunsets with my wife, reading, writing gardening. I do believe a busy mind and body stay strong, young and healthy, but it does get exhausting sometimes. And we add traveling to that and there are not enough hours in the day. Of course nothing stays the same and there are highs and lows, ups and downs, on and off that’s the beautiful balance of life.

I think our perspective on life is solely based on events or experiences, as a child the world is huge, mysterious and exciting and the only hurt we feel are from those around us, our parents discipline teaches us right from wrong our friends dare us to defy authority our teachers teach us facts and figures what was what used to be. Puberty brings internal trauma, ups and downs just a roller coaster of emotions and heartbreak that we must deal with on our own. We become jaded and Leary of people our skin thickens as we build the wall around our inner self. That’s before adulthood, here it’s as easy as one bad decision ruins everything, settling for a job instead of perusing a career just to make money, marrying the wrong one because the right one was to far behind her. It’s impossible to see the light of day when you’re in constant darkness, year after year nothing but black. At a time when most are peaking in their careers, their lives you realize you’re still standing because the light shone in for only a moment, all the losses you’ve suffered through all the pain you’ve endured all the times you were done, finished. That was all because of your prospective was clouded, blackened by outside influences, so you take control of yourself you life and leave the blackness behind. Since then rainy day are as beautiful as sunny days, you find the good news in bad you clean your soul and make room for those that enrich your life. You know the rest of your life no matter how short or long will be as joyful and happy as you want.

My mom and her sisters taught me not just how to cook, but how to work the entire kitchen. Both my parents were French and my mom loved to cook so she was in heaven feeding a husband and 4 boys. My dad however just dabbled in the weekend barbecue field with little fanfare, basic hamburgers and hotdogs. Over the years I created thousands of meals from breakfast to dinner and desserts. My first real job was at a local Italian restaurant starting as a dishwasher washer part time because I was still in school working my way up learning everything I can. Later on, somewhere in my 40’s I again found a part time job at a restaurant and worked there a a few years. Now in my early 60’s looking back I could have had a great career as a chef, but chose to work in the family business instead. My favorite meal to make is breakfast, when I first met my wife who is from Thailand I made her breakfast on the weekends and she enjoyed them so much she invited her friends to eat. For me that’s the greatest compliment especially from a culture driven by food. She has taught me how to cook Thai food and I do pretty good, but I know my place and am happy to not improve my skills in that cuisine at the risk of upsetting the balance in our marriage. This past year I started making French pastries every week I get orders from her Thai friends for my pastries again the greatest compliment.