Dan the man

November 7th, 2023

What will your life be like in three years?

I plan on retiring and spending half of the year in Thailand. My wife is from there and we bought a house there 3 years ago, we go there every year for a month sometimes longer, but I am looking forward to living there at least for the winter months.
November 2nd, 2023

What’s something you believe everyone should know.

Common sense
As a white male in the 70’s and 80’s losing your virginity was something the was bragged about and lied about. Most of my friends had said they lost it around 15-16 years old, around the time we got our drivers license. That gave us a place to do it (the car) and endless locations, but for me the challenge was much greater I was as shy as a little girl. I had zero confidence of self esteem. I think my first real crush was my friends sister, looking back on it now I think it was because I was over there almost every day. One night I was cleaning my car over there and she came outside for what I thought was just friendly conversation only to find out later she wanted more. That was the first of many DOH head slap moments in my life, a Homer moment. We never got to where she wanted, never even made out and life just went on, she found a guy and I was still stuck with me. Forty years later, I’m working in Buffalo New York as I had been doing for the past 7 summers at this point I’m 54 years old divorced for 20 years had a long term relationship that had ended poorly just a few years prior, a father of two sons who hate me, I’m watching Shakespeare in Delaware park and I get a text that says “ hey I’m in Venice for a couple of weeks wondering if you would like to see an old friend “ I replied not knowing who it is “ I would love to but I’m in Buffalo for the summer “ She says “ that’s too bad I was really looking forward to seeing you and having my way with you”.

November 2nd, 2023

So that started a ton of suggestive texting with pictures, all the while I’m looking for flights and was lucky enough to find one that would put me there 3 days before she had to leave, perfect! I created a story to tell my client which involved problems with my house that needed me there asap, no problem. I packed a backpack pack because I didn’t know if I was even going to make it to my house or is this going to be a 3 day never leave the hotel room kind of thing. I landed in the late afternoon and picked up the rental car still plenty of time to get to her hotel and catch a sunset, or not. That’s the thing about the unknown it exciting, you the anticipation makes the mind play crazy scenarios that may or may not happen, I find it best to expect nothing and enjoy what ever happens. I arrived at the hotel which is located across the street from the beach I sat in the car and texted her asking what she was doing. She replied that she was sitting at the beach enjoying the sunshine I asked what color bathing suit she was wearing , beige. Okay I hit the beach and looked around for a woman in a beige suit sitting alone she would be one of the younger girls and if memory serves me she has brown hair. She texting me her dirty thoughts in a very playful way and I replying with the same banter. I see her in a beach chair down near the water sticking out like a sore thumb with her skin so white it will most likely burn without lotion. I approached her from behind stripping off my shirt and flip flops I put my phone and keys with my wallet in the middle of my shirt and wrapped the shirt laying it on the ground and walked maybe 15 feet from her and dove in the water. The water was warm and inviting and clear as day, I bobbed up turned towards her and asked her to join me. The look on her face was priceless, it took a few beats for her to recognize me, but when she did she got up and dove in bobbing up next to me. We had not see or spoke to each other in over 30 years, we’re neck deep in the water and we reach out to each other the feelings and emotions raging through our bodies the tingle of out touch shocked us back to reality but only for a moment, long enough to say “hi” before our lips smashed into each other with a hunger and yearning for only in fables and romance novels.
Oh my GOD I am boring myself to tears. My past may be interesting to do people I am not entirely sure if it’s enough to keep writing about so for now I am going to take a break from it. Today however is a great day, my wife and I are getting together with friends and going to Tampa for some much needed spiritual submersion. There are some wonderful temples there and just like in Thailand a great place to find inner strength, inner peace and inspiration to continue growing as an individual. My personal journey began years ago, but I have fallen many times throughout my life and still struggle with it today. I see the world today, it’s a head scratcher no doubt, I struggle to find anything good in it, but as long as my immediate world is good I’m happy right?

October 29th, 2023
To say I was a late bloomer would be an understatement, I was definitely the last in a long line of guys in our group to lose my virginity, I was 21 years old. I was too shy to try lord knows I wanted to, but it took that long for me to feel confident enough even though I lost so much weight and I was a black belt in karate I still preferred to hang out at the gas station at night working on cars and motorcycles. I think my obsession with cars stemmed from me wanting to get out of our sleepy little town and out into the world. I wanted to join the military but my parents said no. My argument was I can travel for free for a few years and by then figure out what I wanted to do with my life, but see it wasn’t my life I was living it was theirs and I was becoming miserable living it. The first vehicle J bought on my own was a 1973 Chevy van, I customized the inside with a refrigerator a couple of swivel seats and a bed. No the vehicle a father wants his daughter to be picked up in.

October 14th, 2023

The 80’s were such a great time to be young and alive. Even today in my 60’s I get goosebumps remembering how awesome life was then, a bunch of us guys had custom vans some had cars others had motorcycles. Fridays began at the local car wash after dark getting our rides as clean as humanly possible we all worked together there was a level of camaraderie you could only find in the military the same camaraderie we shared in the gym. After a couple of hours we would cruise through downtown showing off our shit like a proud peacock, then we hit our favorite watering hole park across the street and go in and out of the bar all night sometimes until the sun came up. The summers seem to go on forever the nights warm and humid filled with life even after midnight we’ll into the morning. Between all of us there were always cold beers and some weed, none of us had steady girlfriend’s but there were plenty around some we knew from school others were friends of friends a sister that kind of knowing people. Nothing was really serious just hanging out a little partying telling stories laughing at one another, there were hook ups of course we were at an age somewhere between figuring shit out and adulthood. We were having fun
October 13th, 2023

What details of your life could you pay more attention to?

People often ask if you can go back and change parts of your life where would you go? For me the answer is always the beginning. I loved my parents they lIke many were a product of the times, my dad was always working, after his day job he would come home for dinner and leave for his night job he was the bread winner, provider. Mom was a stay at home mom, they had four boys so I imagine her job was far more difficult than dads.
The trip to my brothers house was awesome even with breaking down. It gave me a glimpse of a bigger world, a world I never knew, that stirred a feeling in me I grew to despise a feeling of imprisonment. I had allowed myself get very comfortable in my own world and realized there was no way I’m going to grow into the person I want to be if I stayed, but change is scary, and I was starting a family although my wife wouldn’t get pregnant for another two years it was what she wanted, me, I didn’t know what I wanted. After an awesome three day weekend we made it back home with zero incidents and Tuesday morning arrived with a touch of sadness as I saw how my mornings will be for the rest of my life, I was drowning in my own life with no one to save me.

September 14th, 2023

I think at that point in my life I wanted more for myself, but I was giving more of myself to others and that is a great way to waste your life. I was doing what I believe was expected of me, but I was always dreaming of being somewhere else. The memories were much more enjoyable than the present, in the shittiest of times I could smile because I was feeling the last ride I was on. The wind blowing through my soul as the sun warmed my face, the bike purring like a kitten and running flawlessly me knowing it was because of me and my talents.
I was a fat child, it was around middle school that I realized and started to realize it. I wasn’t very athletic just squeaking by in gym class, I was terrible at baseball, football and the like. My mother had to by me “husky” sized clothes, but I mostly got hand me downs from my two older brothers. We moved from our quaint cape cod style home to a bigger colonial house across town, I was thirteen years old and loved the life I was living. I had a great group of friends and spent a great deal of time with them, but we moved and I lost all of them. We moved closer to the city, a bigger and busier area with a more diverse population. That was the first time I saw a black person, at the new school there were kids from many different cultures, I learned early on to just keep your head down and mind your own business, much like prison. I would spend the next six years like that, not being able to fit in anywhere, I did find comfort in the arts drawing, painting, music and the like. Anything that I was able to do alone I would do. I lived in my own world and didn’t let very many people in, oh, I tried many times, but the people who called me a friend hurt me the most and I wasn’t prepared to deal with that and neither were my parents. I took quite a few years after school to begin to fit into my new neighborhood. My first job was at a gas station that was right down the street, close enough to walk every day. I was sixteen and struggling to find myself, the people I met working there helped shape my life.

September 7th, 2023

That simple walk every morning would help create a desire in me to kick my own fat ass and do something about my physical condition. I’ve seen and older gentleman running on my walks home from work, he ran in the street instead of the sidewalk. I wondered why (having never ran a step in my life) he did. One afternoon he was stopped on a corner waiting for traffic to pass and I asked him “why” he told me the asphalt was softer that the concrete sidewalk. That afternoon I put on my converse sneakers and began running at first not very far, but I was determined to lose weight be skinny so I kept at it everyday. I then had to starve myself, there is no faster way to lose weight than running and no eating, of course it’s unhealthy as all hell as I quickly found out. There were a lot on days of light headedness dizziness and cramps. It took less than a year mostly from spring into late fall, but I went from 205lbs to 160lbs. I read up on diet and nutrition and soon realized how much I was harming myself so I began eating clean and taking supplements that was at eighteen years old, 1978.
September 1st, 2023

We sat on the side of the road watching the cars go by soaking up the sun and planning my next move. It was a beautiful July day perfect really, bright sunshine the only breeze was from the passing traffic which wasn’t enough to stop the sweat that was already running down my face. The fact that O was wearing full leathers wasn’t helping plus the anxiety of not knowing where we we’re was not helping. I decided to push my bike to the next exit which didn’t look far but after a few minutes felt like miles away. Thank GOD I put on my leather saddlebags because by the time we reached the exit ramp I was stripped down to just my jeans and boots. There was a gas station up the road off the exit and like a mirage there was a Harley parked there. I belong to one of the guys working there, turned out there was a Harley dealership up the road a he went and got a new chain for my bike. He let me us some tools and after a couple of hours we were back in the saddle and heading to my brothers. It took a little more than an hour to find his place, he lived in a servents house on an estate property he must have heard me coming because as we rounded the corner he was standing on the street and guided me into the driveway which was loose pebble and caught me off guard and I nearly dropped my bike on its side.
I spent my first summer with my panhead riding throughout the state, building the bike myself I was constantly listening to it feeling it pushing it as much as I dared and after months of riding it felt confident that I could depend on it. My first interstate ride was to my brothers house on the south shore of Boston, a mere two and a half hour ride. My wife at the time and I left late morning on a Friday, the weather was perfect the sun warming my soul as we rode. The bike was performing perfectly as we cruised along, we were about thirty minutes away and out of nowhere the bike started coasting, I cranked the throttle the motor was running, but we were not moving so I rolled to the side of the road shut the bike down and walked around it two, three, four times before I noticed the rear chain was gone.

August 29th, 2023