Dan the man

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

I’ve had a couple few times in my life, mostly when I was younger, the earliest was in my early twenties one of my cousins was going on the road for a couple of years traveling with a circus which I regretted almost immediately because that gave me an opportunity to see a lot of the country and earn a little money. I stayed for a relationship which after ten years failed miserably. Not long after that when I started working for my dad he asked me to take a ride to Maryland to pick up 2 hundred special order stair treads, but I wanted to hang out with friends instead, a selfish stupid decision. Having children was a huge mistake for me because I am not father material at all. I will say once I took complete control of my life there have been no regrets unfortunately that didn’t happen until my mid forties by then I had to settle for work that helped pay child support and drain the life out of me. Life is full of opportunity and regret the trick is to be able to live with the choices you made.

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

These days it’s watching the sunset with my toes in the sand and my mind somewhere else, anywhere else but here. I am a life long dreamer, night time day time it doesn’t matter I am forever wanting to be somewhere else, but I never know where. I am eternally unhappy with my life and always on the lookout for a way out. I have spent years in therapy and been “working “ on myself for longer than I can remember. That’s not to say I never had happiness, I have many times, but they are few and far between and all of this is internal, on the surface I am a happy go lucky joke telling always smiling guy. I have no idea how I got here or where I’m going, but thankfully I have hurt a lot less people over the last 10-15 years.

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

Uncertainty, at the moment we’re working on buying a house in the mountains of NC. and selling our house here in south Florida. Without a large surplus of money we need to put down a substantial amount and hope our house sells quickly. There are very little options and we’ll most likely be living here for another year, the housing market is cooling pretty quickly and being an election year things are slowing down as we all wait and see who will be in charge of our country. At 64 years old this is the worst economical time in life that I can ever remember, the cost of living in this country is the highest I have ever seen, no one from our government is coming to help or reassure us things will get better, we are just stuck in a shit situation with no way out.

Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

First are my parents who helped me move away, even against their wishes they knew if I didn’t move I would have imploded. I have 3 brothers 2 older 1 younger, the younger has avoided contact with me for 25 years or more. The 2 older are in contact with me pretty regularly one even lets me use one of his cars when I fly up there. I like to spend a couple of days near him so we can hang out before making the two hour drive north to see my oldest brother and hang out with him and his family for a couple of days. The funny thing about my family is they’re willing to help, but it’s not without repercussions and if I don’t deliver whatever they ask of me they will drag me through the mud and trash talk me, but will help me time after time. So I put myself in a position where I can afford to rent a car, stay at a nice hotel all on my own. Now when I fly up there I stop in for an afternoon of catching up and I’m off doing exactly what I want to do without guilt or backlash. Family is a strange and unpredictable part of life, it’s up to me to decide how I let it affect me, these days there is zero affect, we love each other and will always help each other, but I have others in my life that are far more deserving of my love and respect.

Describe something you learned in high school.

Tripping on THC is great!!!! I enjoyed that much more than smoking pot or drinking booze. Both booze and pot were a passing fad for me, pot just made me hungry so basically it made me fat and stupid so after just a few times I stopped and drinking just made me feel like a garbage human being so than was out. Tripping however vastly expanded my mind, I saw things that I just could not describe at all, but had a profound effect on me. I spend 2 of the 3 years in high school tripping maybe twice a month including the Saturday spend on mushrooms which opened other areas of my imagination. Sometimes I go back to those days where nothing mattered except the moment I was in, that euphoria that embraced my thoughts and turned them into the greatest experiences I ever had. I plan on finishing my life in that moment, totally content, calm and happy, that’s a home run for me.

What’s the most fun way to exercise?

I’m a gym rat have been most of my life, I’ve had a few different training partners through the years and for me the most fun is when you’re both in the zone gettin’ after it, you’re pumped full of adrenaline and just finished one of the best workouts you can remember, those are the fondest memories in the life of a gym rat. When I moved away I took up running which is fun on its own, but awesome when you have a willing partner that pushes you farther than you would. I live near the beach so swimming is a huge part of my day to day the enjoyment of that is the calm that comes from the cool ocean water on the skin, just moving quietly through the water washing away all the bullshit that comes at you every day.

What book could you read over and over again?

I have read The girl with the dragon tattoo trilogy over a dozen times. For me it’s the ideal beach read. I found the movie excellent with perfect cast it was a shame they never completed doing all the movies. I also enjoy the Jack Reacher series and have a complete collection of the books. Another great character series are the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanavich. One of the best parts of my job as a maintenance man at a condominium complex is access to the library where I have found countless books to take out and return for another. I read and enjoy Stephen King, but not nearly as much as my dad who was probably his biggest fan. I feel books are hugely important even in today’s society where we can download an ebook. There is something about handling the pages the help immerse me completely into the book.

How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?

That was a terrible time for us and our world, we had purchased plane tickets for Thailand in February of that year by mid March it was becoming clear this Covid-19 thing was growing into a real pandemic. Over the next 15 months our flight to Thailand will get delayed or postponed 4 times. We had to get vaccinated to be able to travel and by the time we were actually able to fly we have to get 2 separate boosters. I wasn’t a fan of any of this, but we wanted to get to Thailand and we were willing to jump through any hoops that came our way. Every time the flight got rescheduled it cost us over 1 hundred dollars, my wife was having to call both the American and Thai embassy to obtain the QR code to clear us for travel, the best part was hardly anyone was traveling, we were two of thirty people on the whole plane, the airports were like ghost towns it felt like we were royalty the way the few employees that still had a job treated us. It did suck when we got to Bangkok and had to get a Covid test and quarantine at a hotel for twelve hours and Bangkok like the rest of the world was all but shut down completely, thank GOD for street food and vendors. We stayed there for a month, three days before we’re going back we get a notification that we need a Covid test 12 hours before we leave WTF?!?! We had zero options so we did what was needed and arrived back home in one piece, yeah it sucked, but what a terrible time in our world and we lived through it. We never got another Covid shot and never will.

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

I am a total morning person, every morning weather I’m working or not I am up at 4:30am. For me it’s the only time I have alone, I start the coffee maker, splash cold water on my face have a glass of ice water do some light stretching and breathing, say my morning mantra “ I will give love to everyone I see today, especially myself.” I walk to the end of the driveway to get the newspaper pour my coffee read the paper doing all the puzzles as well then go to my home gym for a 30-45 minute workout. Get cleaned up put on my uniform for work, prepare my wife’s cup of coffee and leave for work. I have been doing this morning ritual for as long as I can remember, 30-35 years. It never fails to make my days better, it’s instrumental in who I am, it’s why I am the way I am. The coffee and newspaper may change when we travel, but everything else stays the same.

What makes you laugh?

Nearly everything! I have found a true sense of calm in finding humor in every day, even a bad day has a funny part in it. One of my many therapist told me I use humor to deal with pain, totally true. Although I didn’t make a career out of comedy I did stand up for quite a few years and when I look back those were very painful years. Divorce took everything away leaving me broken and destitute, one night I got arrested and even sitting in the back of the patrol car I was telling jokes and I knew I was killing it because the policemen were laughing a lot. I spent the night in jail got some sleep then they transported me and about six other guys to the courthouse, I had every body in stitches. There were twenty or so guys in our cell block waiting to get bonded out, there I wasn’t the funny guy because I know how to read a room and this bunch wanted to get the hell out of there not listen to me tell jokes. I got out and did what was needed to stay out, throughout the years my sense of humor has stayed the same more or less, but the world has lost it and I will not become less of who I am for anyone.