My dream home will be in the mountains of North Carolina on about 20 acres. It will be far enough away to be private, but close enough to town to have access to amenities like plumbing electricity and shopping. It’s not large around 2000 square feet with twice as much outdoor living space. It will be built in a hacienda style with tall ceilings 3 bedrooms 3 bathrooms very earthy in materials and colors a truly warm and comforting home. It’s just my wife and I, but we do entertain so it has to have easy access with generous views of the mountains.
Do you need a break? From what?
Yes!!! A break from life would be amazing. At 64 years old I am busier now more than any other time in my life, and I worked 2 jobs for most of my life with the expectation that now at this point I would be able to work less and relax more. It is quite the opposite, and I am still looking for hobbies other that hitting the gym, doing yoga/meditation staying up to date with health and nutrition watching sunsets with my wife, reading, writing gardening. I do believe a busy mind and body stay strong, young and healthy, but it does get exhausting sometimes. And we add traveling to that and there are not enough hours in the day. Of course nothing stays the same and there are highs and lows, ups and downs, on and off that’s the beautiful balance of life.
How do significant life events or the passage of time influence your perspective on life?
I think our perspective on life is solely based on events or experiences, as a child the world is huge, mysterious and exciting and the only hurt we feel are from those around us, our parents discipline teaches us right from wrong our friends dare us to defy authority our teachers teach us facts and figures what was what used to be. Puberty brings internal trauma, ups and downs just a roller coaster of emotions and heartbreak that we must deal with on our own. We become jaded and Leary of people our skin thickens as we build the wall around our inner self. That’s before adulthood, here it’s as easy as one bad decision ruins everything, settling for a job instead of perusing a career just to make money, marrying the wrong one because the right one was to far behind her. It’s impossible to see the light of day when you’re in constant darkness, year after year nothing but black. At a time when most are peaking in their careers, their lives you realize you’re still standing because the light shone in for only a moment, all the losses you’ve suffered through all the pain you’ve endured all the times you were done, finished. That was all because of your prospective was clouded, blackened by outside influences, so you take control of yourself you life and leave the blackness behind. Since then rainy day are as beautiful as sunny days, you find the good news in bad you clean your soul and make room for those that enrich your life. You know the rest of your life no matter how short or long will be as joyful and happy as you want.
What’s your favorite thing to cook?
My mom and her sisters taught me not just how to cook, but how to work the entire kitchen. Both my parents were French and my mom loved to cook so she was in heaven feeding a husband and 4 boys. My dad however just dabbled in the weekend barbecue field with little fanfare, basic hamburgers and hotdogs. Over the years I created thousands of meals from breakfast to dinner and desserts. My first real job was at a local Italian restaurant starting as a dishwasher washer part time because I was still in school working my way up learning everything I can. Later on, somewhere in my 40’s I again found a part time job at a restaurant and worked there a a few years. Now in my early 60’s looking back I could have had a great career as a chef, but chose to work in the family business instead. My favorite meal to make is breakfast, when I first met my wife who is from Thailand I made her breakfast on the weekends and she enjoyed them so much she invited her friends to eat. For me that’s the greatest compliment especially from a culture driven by food. She has taught me how to cook Thai food and I do pretty good, but I know my place and am happy to not improve my skills in that cuisine at the risk of upsetting the balance in our marriage. This past year I started making French pastries every week I get orders from her Thai friends for my pastries again the greatest compliment.
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
Parachuting. The plane has to be crashing for me to jump.
What would you do if you won the lottery?
Tell no one! Not even my children and siblings, pay off any debt and being as I am just a couple years away from retirement just retire and travel. It’s really not that hard if you don’t spend extravagantly and draw attention to yourself no one cares or would ask how, so get a money manager and live your best life.
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
Leisure time is something I was never familiar with, even on vacation I would hit the gym or go for a run which for me was relaxing, but my then wife was not into fitness like me so it would anger her when I would go to the hotel gym or for a run and I couldn’t relax knowing she was pissed off. My wife now is all about relaxing, being from Thailand they would go get massages after work 2-3 days a week. The first time we went there was 6 years ago, I did hit the gym at the hotel, but would not go out running due to the crazy traffic there. I also was my first massage ever and I immediately fell in love, now we go there 1-2 times a year and get a massage 2-3 days a week. I never felt better, my body is the happiest it has ever been as is my mind.
List five things you do for fun.
I don’t think I have done anything just for fun. I enjoy a lot of the activities I do, but they’re more of an exercise than fun. I’m an old school gym rat and have enjoyed many years in the gym and almost all of it is fun. I run/walk not for fun, but the health benefits and I enjoy it, like swimming either in a pool or the ocean, biking is fun for me. I do have fun with my wife, and when we get together with friends it’s always fun even the clean up afterwards. I do enjoy when we travel even when there’s delays or other issues, to me they’re just as much a part of the experience as the good ones, after all you can’t have one without the other.
If you could un-invent something, what would it be?
The internet, World Wide Web, social media, cell phones. I could return to a time in the world where I had to put stamps on letters and wait for a return letter or make a call on a landline, a wall mounted telephone or go to a friends house to visit or see what’s up. I believe we were as people drawn to each other on a much deeper level a more spiritual connection. There wasn’t a lot of distractions, but we were able to be fully engaged in conversations or events like concerts, rallies or protests. Family gatherings were far more entertaining listening to stories of days gone by, as teenagers when we were between childhood and adulthood and rebellious against anything that pissed us off. We would go to the basement or outside depending on the weather, it was that way in almost all the households then. We knew more about ourselves because we were not afraid to spend time alone in our heads and express ourselves publicly without fearing rejection because we were comfortable with ourselves, those that wouldn’t were shyer, quieter not quite ready to fit in the world, but got there eventually or just faded away into the background. We had a heightened awareness of life and the world around us, I watch how people are today and just turn around and walk away. I think about the future and how bleak it looks compared to the future I saw as my younger self. There are some defined differences so acceptable most are not, but I’m way too old to engage in today’s world, to try and make sense of what’s happening is exhausting. The future no longer belongs to me, it’s in the hands of my children and their children…
In what ways do you communicate online?
Emails, instagram, Facebook and texting, but my favorite way to communicate with people is a good old fashioned phone call. And just like writing in cursive it’s become a lost art. I am not a huge fan of technology, I feel it takes away more than it gives, maybe it’s because I am older, but I watch how the youth of the world communicate and I find it heartbreaking that they are unable or unwilling to communicate face to face with another human being. I have never began a relationship on line, why bother there are thousands of people in my neighborhood and I am personable and friendly, but if I’m not drawn to you I keep on walking, if I’m approached I do engage in conversation and move on. Human interaction is simple, don’t complicate it, trust your instincts and gut feelings you’ll never go wrong.
Dan the man 