I’m a gym rat have been most of my life, I’ve had a few different training partners through the years and for me the most fun is when you’re both in the zone gettin’ after it, you’re pumped full of adrenaline and just finished one of the best workouts you can remember, those are the fondest memories in the life of a gym rat. When I moved away I took up running which is fun on its own, but awesome when you have a willing partner that pushes you farther than you would. I live near the beach so swimming is a huge part of my day to day the enjoyment of that is the calm that comes from the cool ocean water on the skin, just moving quietly through the water washing away all the bullshit that comes at you every day.
What book could you read over and over again?
I have read The girl with the dragon tattoo trilogy over a dozen times. For me it’s the ideal beach read. I found the movie excellent with perfect cast it was a shame they never completed doing all the movies. I also enjoy the Jack Reacher series and have a complete collection of the books. Another great character series are the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanavich. One of the best parts of my job as a maintenance man at a condominium complex is access to the library where I have found countless books to take out and return for another. I read and enjoy Stephen King, but not nearly as much as my dad who was probably his biggest fan. I feel books are hugely important even in today’s society where we can download an ebook. There is something about handling the pages the help immerse me completely into the book.
How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?
That was a terrible time for us and our world, we had purchased plane tickets for Thailand in February of that year by mid March it was becoming clear this Covid-19 thing was growing into a real pandemic. Over the next 15 months our flight to Thailand will get delayed or postponed 4 times. We had to get vaccinated to be able to travel and by the time we were actually able to fly we have to get 2 separate boosters. I wasn’t a fan of any of this, but we wanted to get to Thailand and we were willing to jump through any hoops that came our way. Every time the flight got rescheduled it cost us over 1 hundred dollars, my wife was having to call both the American and Thai embassy to obtain the QR code to clear us for travel, the best part was hardly anyone was traveling, we were two of thirty people on the whole plane, the airports were like ghost towns it felt like we were royalty the way the few employees that still had a job treated us. It did suck when we got to Bangkok and had to get a Covid test and quarantine at a hotel for twelve hours and Bangkok like the rest of the world was all but shut down completely, thank GOD for street food and vendors. We stayed there for a month, three days before we’re going back we get a notification that we need a Covid test 12 hours before we leave WTF?!?! We had zero options so we did what was needed and arrived back home in one piece, yeah it sucked, but what a terrible time in our world and we lived through it. We never got another Covid shot and never will.
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?
I am a total morning person, every morning weather I’m working or not I am up at 4:30am. For me it’s the only time I have alone, I start the coffee maker, splash cold water on my face have a glass of ice water do some light stretching and breathing, say my morning mantra “ I will give love to everyone I see today, especially myself.” I walk to the end of the driveway to get the newspaper pour my coffee read the paper doing all the puzzles as well then go to my home gym for a 30-45 minute workout. Get cleaned up put on my uniform for work, prepare my wife’s cup of coffee and leave for work. I have been doing this morning ritual for as long as I can remember, 30-35 years. It never fails to make my days better, it’s instrumental in who I am, it’s why I am the way I am. The coffee and newspaper may change when we travel, but everything else stays the same.
What makes you laugh?
Nearly everything! I have found a true sense of calm in finding humor in every day, even a bad day has a funny part in it. One of my many therapist told me I use humor to deal with pain, totally true. Although I didn’t make a career out of comedy I did stand up for quite a few years and when I look back those were very painful years. Divorce took everything away leaving me broken and destitute, one night I got arrested and even sitting in the back of the patrol car I was telling jokes and I knew I was killing it because the policemen were laughing a lot. I spent the night in jail got some sleep then they transported me and about six other guys to the courthouse, I had every body in stitches. There were twenty or so guys in our cell block waiting to get bonded out, there I wasn’t the funny guy because I know how to read a room and this bunch wanted to get the hell out of there not listen to me tell jokes. I got out and did what was needed to stay out, throughout the years my sense of humor has stayed the same more or less, but the world has lost it and I will not become less of who I am for anyone.
When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?
No clue!! At sixty four I still haven’t figured out what I want to be. I have done a lot of work in the trades, transportation and health care. So I have dabbled in various fields but have failed to take one to the finish line. As a child I wanted to be a soldier, I even tried to join the navy but my father intervened and kept me from enlisting. So began years of untreated anger issues and living an unfulfilled life. By the time I broke away from my family I was to old to serve and way to broke to pursue any dreams I had, it’s never to late to start anything but, at this point what’s the use? I am always on the lookout for something, anything to spark my passion whatever that may be, but in the back of my mind that is just another dream that will never come true.
What’s something most people don’t understand?
I think today’s youth doesn’t understand how to interact with other people, both men and women. I grew up in the 60’s-70’s and we made friends with to kids in our neighborhood, families that our parents hung out with. Then you met kids in school some became friends others you just knew from school or from the neighborhood. It became daunting as we entered into puberty and started seeing the girls a little differently. I didn’t get my footing until my late teens early twenties, but once I did I found I was pretty good at it. I developed an air of confidence and a sense of humor both oddly enough women found attractive. I was also raised to be a gentleman and walked away from many offers that wouldn’t have hurt anyone but myself I look back on those moments and still slap myself on the forehead. I also had many first dates that were nothing less than tragic, the anxiety that lead to sweating like a water buffalo, the nagging feeling of inadequacy was overwhelming to the point where I believed she was so far out of my league that she was here on a bet or worse, pity UGH! My wife in I whet to Switzerland to visit her cousin and daughter who she is very close to, the daughter is 18 and lives with one of her girlfriends and they wanted to have lunch with us she said she made the arrangements and we met them at a pre arranged location. When we got to the restaurant she didn’t speak with the hostess she just showed her the reservation on her phone, the hostess sat us and a server came and gave us menus and took our drink order. I noticed how uncomfortable the daughter and her friend were, they were struggling to say what they wanted to drink and when it came time for the food order I thought their heads were going to explode from mental anxiety. I have seen this a lot it’s sad to think that future generations will only communicate through their phones. I’m old school I will definitely shake your hand even if you have a cold, flu or your hands are dirty from working in the yard or on the car. I will hug even when you’re sweating from a run or workout. I fear very little in this world, but the thing I fear the most is where the world is heading, A.I. is going to destroy mankind, but maybe we deserve it.
How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?
Not very often, basically I’m a “yes” man, I believe it’s my need to help or maybe wanting to be liked or appreciated. This has been a problem my entire life, it creates a problem in my marriage and other relationships that I truly am invested in but deny them because of my saying yes to other people and no to them. I have a job, it’s a part time gig so my afternoons are free, years ago when I was a maintenance man on a property of 60 single family homes occupied by mostly widows and older adults a woman asked me to take the leaves in her backyard so naturally I said yes, well fast forward 8 years I now have 15 yards to rake as well as other landscaping projects. Although I do enjoy the work my plan was to do it until they started dying off, but lo and behold they’re still here and as vibrant as ever. Meanwhile my wife has been waiting for me to finish a bathroom renovation I started 7 years ago. Luckily for me it’s a second bathroom and she doesn’t nag me about it because the main bathroom is beautifully done, but still a good husband would finish the project already.
What is one word that describes you?
I don’t think I can speak for myself, but most everyone that knows me says I’m nice. Like everything else it’s a matter of who you ask because you don’t make it this far in life without pissing somebody off. I imagine if you asked people from my past they would definitely have a different opinion of the people that know me today. My younger self was constantly tormented and frustrated, always angry, I would say I was a grade A asshole. Once I ruined that part of my life with self abuse and destruction I had to decide if I wanted to become a better person or continue my downward spiral. I have to say I chose wisely and have been very happy in my life for quite some time now.
Who is the most confident person you know?
My wife. Actually she is a huge inspiration for me, she came to America from Thailand she was visiting her cousin who had already been here many years. We met by chance at her cousins restaurant I went there for dinner, it was a slow night my friend Jennifer who runs the dining room sat with me while mg food was being prepared, we were have a nice conversation just catching up and she asked if I had a girlfriend, I said no she said “ I have one in the kitchen for you” and got up went into the kitchen and returned with the woman who became my wife. She was a very typical Thai girl, a bit shy and quiet, but very strong in morals values and ethics she is also very sure of herself and who she is and confident in that she doesn’t compromise on her beliefs or feelings and will not settle. She is a woman I felt was out of my league, but I was at a point of personal growth myself when we met so I came to love myself and adopted a lot of her strength as well as creating my own. Today a mere 8 years later we are what I consider a power couple, we’re both strong in our ethics and values and we attract some of the greatest people around.
Dan the man 