Dan the man

At 64 years old I’m just a few years from retirement which means I can spend more time looking for my purpose in life. I don’t know many people that have found it, but the ones I have appeared happier, satisfied more content with their lives. I have had many, many different jobs I even had a couple of careers, but I have never had one and said to myself this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I have settled for jobs more times than I can remember, but bills need to be paid and who is going to pay them?? Even at this stage in my life I have settled for a job the just pays the bills. I have had an emptiness in my heart as long as I can remember I tried to fill it with anything I could find which always resulted in negative results, it was nothing more than self abuse that I was able to overcome by facing the fact that the hole in my heart cannot be filled I had to learn to live with the emptiness and I have. Even now when my life is the best it has ever been it’s a little empty, my wife ask me a lot why I look so sad I just say I’m not because I really have no reason to be. Perhaps I’m betting on my retirement to fill that hole, maybe it’s just not meant to be filled.