Dan the man

Focus on yourself, create yourself be strong don’t get distracted, stay hungry for knowledge, be humble always.

Well, since I married a Thai woman I am partial to Thai food especially street food. That being said I have eaten food all over the world and so many come to mind, in Paris is was the croc monsiure from a sidewalk cafe near the Eiffel Tower, during that lunch my wife was looking and found a Thai restaurant nearby that we went to for dinner. A few days after that we were in Switzerland and the restaurant in a tiny village had the most amazing fondue, I can taste the cheese as I am writing this and we did shop at the local Co-op often. Our trip to Danang Viet Nam brought a plethora of seafoods each dish more delicious than the previous one. When we’re home in America in our little mountain town there is the best barbecue I have ever eaten, we go there once a month and more when friends come to visit. When we lived in Florida there was and still is awesome seafood even after so many of those restaurants closed after hurricane Milton the remaining restaurants stepped up their menu. I grew up in New England and I have never been able to find clam chowder quite like the one I grew up with and you be hard pressed to find a better lobster bake anywhere, we would get a strong fire going in the fire pit cover it with seaweed from the Atlantic throw some lobsters on it with a couple of bags of clams cover it with more seaweed and wait awhile melt some butter when it’s ready dig in and you swear you’re in heaven.

Common sense, although I think you can develop and hone it, but if you don’t use it you lose it. The ability to relate to other people with care and compassion, hand eye coordination, physical dexterity, love and empathy, we have the ability to learn and develop so many different skills and we are born with certain gifts and talents That many of us never use. Some people seem to be from another planet they’re so good at what they do, Bruce Lee still today to be the greatest martial artist of all time, Tiger Woods the greatest golfer of all time Warren Buffet greatest investor of all time and all the great actors singers and performers, Olympic athletes race car drivers, those people all had one basic skill, the determination to succeed, they were willing to put in the work needed to be the best, but it’s more the just putting in the work it’s the willingness to sacrifice the life you’re living and the people in your life so you can grow into the best version of yourself, it’s plan A without a plan B, it’s so or die it’s as simple as taking that first step.

There are tens of thousands of songs in my head and they play from the time I wake up unto I get into my truck and turn on the radio. This has been going on for as long as I can remember, depending on my state of mind when I go to bed the song I wake up to varies and it’s mostly the music I grew up listening to, from the ‘70s ‘80s ‘90s. I do listen to all types of music even rap I really enjoy Eminem and will find myself singing his stuff, but not very often. I would say Aerosmith, Journey, Elvis, ELO, Whitney Houston, Tina Turner, Adele just to name a few, as far as lyrics go I don’t think I would ever be able to nail down any lyrics from all the artists I have listened too, some of my favorites are Van Halen 38 special Ray Charles Jewel etc,etc,etc. I imagine most everyone has a mental playlist, I believe it helps keep the weight of the world off our shoulders, keeps life light and maybe we’re happier and kinder because of it.

Quit smoking, and it’s been thirty years since I had a cigarette or cigar. Oh, and drinking, although I didn’t have a drinking problem I knew it was bad for me and I did for most of my live take decent care of myself in regards to what I put in my body and such, but life is full of reasons to cheat, I like to eat as fresh as I can, but some days I just run out of time or get sidetracked and end up eating like a freaking moron. I tried different drugs thankfully nothing stuck, same with booze and smokes. I think my biggest and longest battle is with food, as I mentioned earlier I like to eat clean fresh fruits and vegetables no red meat chicken and fish and pork, but every so often I feel I need ice cream or cake or pie any and all dessert related foods. I have given them up, but they always seem to come back, like a bad penny or that family member who just couldn’t clean up their act and get their shit together. I believe we all have the strength to change our behaviors, our desires some stay gone forever some come back to scratch that itch.

I believe it’s a little bit of both. We come into the world pretty much an empty vessel I mean we have our parents DNA and genetics, but we’re still lacking a personality, morals and values the things that make us who we are and we get those things from our parents our family. Then as we grow and we interact with other people during those early teen years when our chemistry is really churning up we become ourselves more of an individual. Our interest are high as we find search for more of ourselves and we’re surrounded by hundreds of thousands of other people, some we are drawn to, you don’t know why but you’re need to be around them is unexplained that feeling you can never put into words and that doesn’t mean they’re are soul mate or future spouse, I believe it’s at a molecular level when we see those ones that we can’t get enough of. It may only be for a day week or month and then it’s over the feeling fades you’re done ready to move on to find another attraction. Experiences both good and bad shape us into the people we are at that moment, we have all the memories but we need not continue to live, ideally we continue to move forward it’s how we grow, how we learn of our inner strengths to become the person we want to be.

I wouldn’t necessarily say lifelong, there were periods in my life when I knew everything and nobody can tell me anything, yeah a textbook asshole. It took a couple of very low points and a few people who tough loved me to open my eyes as to how I was behaving, nothing like a few good ass whippings to give you insight and perspective and it doesn’t happen right away it takes a while about as long as it takes for the black eyes to fade away or your ego to heal. I am a high school dropout, but I did get my GED about six months after I left school, I didn’t want to go to college I felt I wasn’t smart enough the classroom bored me to death, but I loved to learn hands on. Long before YouTube and Google we had to get our hands on repair manuals for all the different vehicles on the road and we had to read nearly every word and refer to drawings or photos and make heads and tails of it all, there was a bit of trial and error and we had to find people with experience to answer questions we had. It did however without you even realizing it give you confidence, that feeling of accomplishment that fills you with pride in doing the job right and everything is working properly. My dad had a woodworking shop when I went to work for him it was a whole new industry from automotive but the hands on was still there so I spent the first couple of years learning how not to cut my fingers off and respect each and every tool you handle, just like mechanical work the risk of injury is high so you must pay attention. When I left CT. for Florida I didn’t want to do the work I had been doing most of my life, I wanted to reinvent myself and that meant learning a new profession or trade. It was difficult to find so my first job was a golf car mechanic and I found a part time job at night at a rehabilitation facility I was a rehab technician which sounds good but the pay was disappointing at best, but I needed the money and wanted the experience. So I spent the first two plus years in Florida working those two jobs, I did learn a lot more that I thought I would, the golf car gig was a lot of in field work so I got to learn the area around my new home and meet hundreds of people from all over the country, the rehab gig helped me grow personally by learning how to relate to people so you can offer them help of nearly any kind, sobriety, career, housing and relationships, but to further that career meant I had to go to college for four years and I was already working two jobs and could not afford to quit one so I did what I had to do to keep my home and the bills paid and that was a huge lesson in life, how to survive in it, how to compromise the one thing you would like to do with the things that you must do to live a quality life, a life you’re happy to live.

Not an easy question, there are so many beautiful places in the world I think it would be difficult to choose just one. In America alone it would be hard to find just one place to settle down. I was born in Connecticut and lived there for thirty eight years then it was off to Florida for another twenty seven years and now we’ve been in North Carolina for a year and a half. Every place has its beauty, Connecticut was the best place in the world for me when I was growing up, it was magical almost all year long Norman Rockwell magical. I thought I was going to live my whole life there, but shit happens and the life you knew was taken away. So Even though I had never been to Florida that’s where I ended up, sold the few belongings I had left after an ugly divorce and headed south. When I arrived in Sarasota I was swept away by the beauty of the tropical paradise, it was filled with beautiful people and had such a comfortable relaxed vibe to it I was in heaven. I found Venice Beach and rented a house just a few blocks away and every day was sunny, warm and everyone was smiling the beaches and the gulf were my playground and it would be many years before I missed a sunset. That’s where I met my wife (who is from Thailand) and we began this amazing relationship that I am honored to be in. She showed me life like I never knew we know live in North Carolina and have a beautiful house in Thailand, we have traveled throughout south East Asian and every place is as magical and beautiful as the next. Our plan is to live the summer and fall in North Carolina and Thailand for the rest of the year, for me it’s a perfect life.

A topic I’m all too familiar with. Throughout my life I’ve had more than my share of negative thoughts, when I was younger they had a very powerful influence over my decisions. Over the years I have learned to deal with negative thoughts feelings and emotions, not an easy tasks but I believe I have a pretty good grip on myself, no longer the chokehold I am accustomed to. Martial arts, Yoga, Meditation are just a few tools I use to find my happy place. The world like life is always a balance of good and bad yin and yang the key is to recognize and managing yourself because that’s all we as humans can do we can’t control what’s going on in the world all we can control is how we deal with it, as I’ve gotten older I find it best to just walk away.