What animals make the best/worst pets?
I think dogs make the best pets. I’ve had about eight or ten dogs all of different breeds, mostly mutts because they seem to be the most loyal. I’ve had cats and I will say everything people say about cats living on their terms is correct, they own you not the other way around and you better keep that litter box clean or else there will be a surprise waiting for you when you get home. Having fish makes no sense to me, you’re going to spend money, a lot of money and for what? To watch them swim in the prison cell you call an aquarium? You can get the same exact thing on your smart TV without all the maintenance. My first wife liked exotic birds so we had two parrots not the little ones the big expensive ones that talk very well. And they live like eighty or ninety years, when we got them we had to get a big cage nearly six feet tall so it takes up a ton of room at first it was fun we would clip their wings and nails and teach them different words and we would leave the radio on for them. We had good intentions but they just never stopped talking, to quiet them they told us to put a blanket over the cage and they would think it’s nighttime and sleep well that was bullshit because they would panic and scream until you took the blanket off. So the last pet I had was a dog that my ex took with her and that was thirty plus years ago, it turns out I am okay just taking care of myself and honestly I won’t shit in your bed or maybe I will.
What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?
There was a time in my life maybe thirties to fifties when I could connect with people at a level that even had me thinking “How”. I believed I could have sold just about anything even burial plots. Many people have told me I have a gift of really understanding people even women which I always had an uncanny ability with. I could talk a nun out of her BVDs roll in the hay all night and she would have no regrets. Woman are drawn to me like a moth to the flame. My wife of the past ten years gets the best of me because all her friends connected with me in ways I never believed possible and in my youth I would most likely to them up on it because I have and it’s a shitty thing to do and hurts more people than you realize, but and I’m not making excuses here but the relationships I was in in the past didn’t have the comfort of my marriage now, my wife gives me everything I was looking for she’s the complete package. I had great relationships, but they all had at least one red flag and I would overlook it for the sake of the relationship, the trouble with that is all those red flags add up until you can no longer stay quiet and then that conversation becomes an argument filled with words you never wanted to say, but they flowing out of your mouth faster than your mind can tell you to stop. After that it’s a few months of “trying “ only to fail miserably and both of you want to strangle each other. So after a few relationships like that I stayed single and slept around because it was easy for me, but it also made me look at myself and I realized I was a douche bag big time. When I met my wife I wasn’t looking for anyone and I didn’t just fall head over heels in love with her, those first few months when desire is strong and you’ll overlook anything to get her in the sack it was nothing like that she wanted to more than me but I wanted to wait and see how this goes. This year marks our ten year anniversary and there was never a red flag or puppy love or any of that nonsense it’s been a dream come true for me I love her in ways I can’t describe she showed me the best version of myself and for that I owe her exactly that.
What is your favorite type of weather?
Well, we moved from southwest Florida for a few reasons the weather was one of them. The past five or six years had been miserable with a seemingly endless summer and that means running the A/C 24/7 and that sucked big time. I always looked forward to winter because I could shut off the A/C open the windows and enjoy nature, after years of constant A/C we moved to the mountains of NC. Much better weather wise, windows open for six or seven months a few cold months and done. The best season there is fall because of the leaves changing and the colder temperatures, this year we decided to go to Thailand from February to May and the weather here is blistering hot with overnight temperatures in the mid eighties, apparently March and April are their hottest months and honestly I don’t know why we decided to come here then, but we are and it’s hot so we’ve been traveling to the beach often and the mountains as well. All and all I love the fall in western NC.
What do you wish you could do more every day?
Energy, ambition, desire, hunger anything that moves me as I find myself do very little and having more time to do things. I would say that a case of mild depression is in my life now and honestly I have every reason to be the happiest guy in the world, but the brain is an enigma and we will never know it’s full capability, I have been to therapy many times and it does good for awhile I leave feeling rejuvenated, lighter less heavy and it stays that way for months, years maybe longer. As I get older and just entering retirement I find myself spending more time in my head, oh I’m active every day I go for morning walks/runs afternoons I workout or do tai chi or yoga and my wife and I spend a good amount of time together so I feel I do have a healthy balanced life, so why so sad?!? That’s a question I cannot answer.
What was the best compliment you’ve received?
I imagine there were a few throughout my life mostly later in my life. In my youth my parents didn’t hand out compliments very often my dad’s version was one simple word, good, because if it wasn’t good it was bad and he didn’t tolerate bad. My mom was complimenting, but it came with bias and criticism and a story about how someone did it better. I believe I evolved out of that type of behavior and speech it’s always a conscious effort to hold your tongue in situations where most feel the need to speak their minds I stay silent, I feel I’m a better version of myself because of that. When I was a caregiver I did receive compliments a lot, but honestly I was just doing my job, in retrospect I was easing the burden of his loved ones who took care of him for years and I soon realized the toll it takes on those loved ones so I became very aware of the power of compliments and use them often especially with my wife who I feel deserves a lot of them. Coming over from Thailand to provide a better life for her mom and sister is a huge sacrifice, but she sees the results of her efforts through her hard work, when we met she was here on a six month visa working seven days a week after she went back to Thailand I told myself if she ever returned to America I will marry her and it was over a year and a half later when she did we married right away and so began our amazing life. I make a point of complimenting her as she does me which is every day, we both work hard for what we both want… a better life and we’re going along very nicely with a nice home in America and a nicer home in Thailand we also travel to Thailand every year and as I’m writing this we’re at a private island beach resort in the gulf of Thailand that is just taking my breath away. Compliments, use as need and offer.
Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?
A Platapus mostly because I feel people look at me scratch their head and say what the fuck!?!? I’m not much to look at, certainly no eye candy and my body is not the wonderland it used to be, but I’m capable and can adapt to nearly any environment and fit in with many different social classes. I am well versed in a variety of topics and am smart enough to avoid politics and religion as a topic of discussion. I’m a survivor for what ever reason I am still here.
What is your middle name? Does it carry any special meaning/significance?
Mark is my middle name it’s also the name of my first born son. Both my parents were devout Catholics and other that my oldest brother (who is named after my father) us three brothers are all bible names. Either the first or middle or in my case both first and middle, maybe they wanted me to become a priest who knows, but they didn’t have a book of baby names to refer to so my generation was named either from the bible or from previous generations. I’m fine with the bible name because I would not want to be called some of the men’s names in my family. Not that I would know the difference and care I would just make up a nickname I liked, thankfully I didn’t have to I am happy to be Daniel Mark. God bless.
What is the last thing you learned?
I am learning to speak Thai if that’s even possible for me and honestly I don’t think I really need to know a lot of it. My wife is Thai and we’ve been together for ten years and I never saw a need to know that much about the language, but now we’re spending more time in Thailand she feels as I do that I should be able to speak to people even if it’s just to ask questions, I say why I wouldn’t understand the answer. I have picked up quite a bit of Thai mostly through my wife, but now I’m understanding more of the conversation that happens while we’re in the car with her family or during a transaction at the store so all and all I am pretty satisfied with the amount that I do know, because I will tell you for me communication is not the key to a happy marriage and if I ever do become fluent in Thai I would not want to know what she’s saying so I am ignorant and it’s blissful.
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
There are so many experiences in life I think the key is to recognize the ones that impact the most. usually it’s the ones that are the worse, the ones that hurt the most that crush your soul until you no longer want to go on. As a child experiences should be enjoyable like a friends birthday party or a Christmas filled with gifts or that hurt enough to teach you but not change you. Your first crush that didn’t turn out like you wanted, a broken heart can hurt and be a great lesson in life. Adulthood brings some downright terrifying experiences, the world of the unknown like how happy your marriage is going to be only to find out your in the wrong marriage, she wasn’t the one that’s after two wonderful experiences with the birth of your sons and then the horrible experience of divorce which robs you of your will to live or do anything but die. That experience alters your soul, crushes your heart to where you physically feel your heart breaking and can do nothing. Time is a great healer, it’s different for everyone for me it was many years filled with terrible experiences and very few good ones. I wouldn’t say I’m a better man today than twenty five years ago there are way too many scars on my heart and soul to say I’m better or worse different for sure, but that’s the beauty of experiences good and bad they shape us into the people we see in the mirror today and without them there isn’t that person.
Dan the man 